The Pastor at my church got locked out of the church on Sunday. Fortunately, I always sit near the back so I got to see all of this play out. It was right after his sermon, quite a good sermon for that matter, and he went into the Pastor Room at the very back of the church. He goes into the room to regroup or pray or eat a quick snack (That’s what I would do).. whatever he does in there.. and the pianist began a lovely tune to serenade the congregation. After a few minutes, I heard the door begin to rattle. After about 15 seconds, the handle began to shake violently and those of us near to door tried to inconspicuously turn around. About 10 seconds later we heard something large hitting against the door, the frame starting to shake, and a determined grunting sound emerging from the room.
Now pretty much everybody is staring at the back door, but the Bystander Effect held true, and nobody thought to help the poor man. There was silence for about 5 seconds, in which he must have been getting ready for a running start to hit the door, and BOOOOOM!! He comes barreling through, with enough momentum to smash a linebacker, the whole while laughing and guffawing. Nobody really knew how to react so they were respectfully quiet, except me. I was howling like a monkey.. it was one of the funnier things I have ever seen. A Pastor getting locked out of his church.. the irony!! So there was the Pastor and Maggie.. enjoying a nice laugh at his expense. Was it the best reaction? Ummm, no probably not. But did they still invite me to the Potluck afterwards? Absolutely.
Enough is enough. I am running out of fingers to count how many times I have had a flat tire in the two months or so that I have been down here. Back in Idaho, it was a very rare occurence to have a flat tire but here.. I just wonder WHEN it will happen on the ride, not IF it will happen. This limits me to riding only as far as I can walk if I have to. And in this heat and elevation.. I am confined to about a 12 yard radius. Just kidding, but it is seriously concerning not knowing when you are going to go flat because water conservation and roasting to death is definitely an issue. So I decided to take a little trip over to good old Bisbee (Pirate Day? Lesbian Screamo Band? Plastic Bags are outlawed? Ringing any bells?) and see if there were any Bike shops to be found.
While researching it online, I found two. The first was called “Bisbee Bicycle Brothel” and the second “The Bicycle Company of Bisbee”. Fortunately, my decision on which one to go to was made for me because the Brothel of Bikes was out of business.. shocking, right? I walked into the shop and a 50 or so year old man with exceptionally bare and tan feet and an on point Hawaiian shirt greeted me and asked if he could help. I told him that he had impeccably tanned feet (no I didn’t) and that I could not bike for more than 2 miles without going pancake flat on at least one tire. He took off my tubes and proceeded to pull out what looked like an epidural needle from the front tire. It was a massive cactus thorn. Well that sure explained a lot! I then asked him to make them impenetrable and he said he would do his darndest. We then had a nice conversation about the history of Bisbee and all of the mining and gambling and prostitution that made the town into the little gem it is today. He also told me and showed me on a map all of the hiking and camping and adventuring places in Cochise County so I am thuper excited about that!! So if everything goes according to plan, there will not be any more flat tire stories! Yay! Whoo! (My tires weigh about 87lbs each now.. but I will take it, gladly)
Aaaannnndddd now it is time for A.F.T.I.H.L.O.T.P.W.O.S!!!
(A Few Things I Have Learned Over the Past Week or So)
Praying Mantis’s (Manti? Mantisss? Mantusii?) actually look like they are praying! And are as long as a person’s hand! And creep up on you when you are just trying to rest against a wall and then for a split second peer deep into your soul and you think that they are going to murder you in cold blood but then you remember that you are 700 times as big as it is and your heart resumes its beating.. I’m sorry, I had a moment.
Agua Prieta, the town that is directly across from Douglas on the Mexican side, is not a dirty and terrible place.. it, in the main parts at least, is exactly like Douglas! There are restaurants and parks and everybody still speaks Spanish. I have a friend who goes over there frequently, so I have tagged along the last few times and got to see her play in a soccer game, got my nails done very nicely for under ten dollars, had very broken conversations with my very broken Spanish, and ate a Mexican Hot Dog (or 2.. or 3..)
Mexican Hot Dogs are the best things on earth. Imagine a hot dog.. but good meat.. in a warm, fluffy bun that is kind of shaped like a pita.. topped with beans, onions, jalapenos, and a delicious mystery sauce.. wrapped in bacon. And if that doesn’t sound good, which it originally didn’t to me either, just come on down and try one. They. Are. So. Good. Especially washed down with Horchata and followed by Churros.. Ohmygoodness my life has been made complete.
At Arizona Diamondback games, instead of the vendors yelling the usual “Ice Cold Bottle of Beer, Water and Coke right HHHEERRRREE!!” they yell something along the lines of “Cotton candy, cracker jacks.. HOOORRRCCHHHAATTTAA!!” Which doesn’t really flow out of their tongues quite as well as the more standard sales pitches, but man does that Mexican milk-ish drink sell like the dickens in these parts.
When somebody informs you that there will be the outskirts of a hurricane coming through the next day and that there is potential for 12 inches of rain overnight.. believe them. And roll up your pants and hoard some extra burritos from the cafeteria for emergencies.
Always eat a salad in the cafeteria. Unless there is a dead fly floating in the salad dressing. If there is a dead fly, skip the ruffage for that day. Upon further thought, if there is not a fly floating in the dressing, skip it anyway because that means it (and its friends) sank to the bottom. After even more thought, don’t ever eat the salad. Ever.
Be careful driving around at night with the windows down because skunks like to hang out around stop signs. And bugs like to throw themselves into Todd from the streets if given the opportunity.
There was a Beatles group that came to our campus last night to put on a concert. Can you think of something that fits together less than Douglas, Mexico and the Beatles? I can’t either, but my goodness I love the Beatles so I did not care one iota about the absurdity of it. I went with AJ and he is not really all that much of a Beatles fan, but he was a good sport all the way up until they played Yellow Submarine. Around the 15th time the chorus was sung, he had about enough. (In is defense, they did sing the same 3 lines a mildly obnoxious amount of times)
Ringo: “We all live in a yellow submarine!”
AJ: “A WHAT?!” (Yelling.. literally yelling)
Ringo: “A yellow submarine!”
AJ: “OH!” (We were starting to get looks)
Ringo: “A yellow submarine!”
AJ: “I GOT IT!!!!!” (*sigh*)
Anyway. My mom told me about a time when I was much younger, my mom, dad, and I went to a faux Beatles concert and I started rocking and head banging so hard that they had to move to the back of the concert to give me some more room to maneuver. Looking back, I figure I went so hard because Paul and I shared the same haircut (I had a bowl cut until I was about 16) and I must have assumed I was catching a glimpse of my future up there on stage. While I didn’t need to be removed this time, I still loved every second of it.
My Flight Instructor’s wife just had a baby so he has been gone for a little over a week so I have been doing every type of approach imaginable in the RedBird Sim.. which has been very helpful actually, but I am ready to start flying again. Everything is coming together, I think, and I still really like Instrument flying. If everything goes according to plan, I will be an Instrument Rated Pilot by December!
This weekend looks to be an interesting one.. the forecast is calling for a Mexican Baby Shower and a County Fair. I am guessing it will be one for the books.. I will report after!
Thank you all for reading and, as usual, post any comments or questions because I would love to hear from all of you 🙂